What time?

What time is the Padres game on Thursday?

Female Fantasy Draft

Actual conversation from Jeralyn's fantasy football draft...

Girl #1: Hmm... I want this "Wells" guy.
Girl #2: What position does he play.
Girl #1: H-B. I don't know. He runs with the ball I think.
Girl #3: What is his first name?
Girl #1: Beanie. But I don't see him on this list anywhere.
Girl #2: There is no such person as "Beanie Wells."
Girl #1: I see a Chris Wells on Arizona. Is that his brother?
Girl #2: Maybe.
Girl #1: I'll take him then.


I think this is somehow JR's fault...

I Did The Same Thing Last Week At Softball Practice

Makes sense if they're trying to cockblock the Pads

Rotoworld_BB: S. Podsednik -LF-KC : Dodgers making
strong push for Podsednik http://tinyurl.com/y9r7js7

Sent via TweetDeck (www.tweetdeck.com)

JR Johnson

This might make you feel better Tom...

USA Goal Reaction Full Version2.wmv

USA Goal Reaction Full Version2.wmv

England 5:1 Germany, world cup qualifier 2001

Round 3. Ghana vs USA 2-1 (Fifa Highlights)

The Only Way I'd Watch Soccer...Late At Night...In The Dark...

Dream apartment - Carlsberg commercial

Best View Under My Coupe In A While...

Hey, if you're gonna talk soccer(zzzzzzz) on our baseball blog, I can talk about hot rods. Whose with me?

Bueller? Bueller?

Best soccer commercial in a while...

Sorry LeBron... you're not cut out for this...

Hanley...

Did someone put a flipping voodoo jinx on Hanley Ramirez. I never seen so many 0-4 nights from him in one season. Damn!!! Good thing Josh Beckett is a bigger jackass or I would be really pissed!!!

Headline only needed the first two words.

Rotoworld_BB: T. Hoffman -R -MLW: Hoffman blows
another save, allows five runs http://tinyurl.com/dyekl9

Get it Ari...see what I did there?

Random half of the league in the words of The Player Lair

Come back anytime

Four???! Isn't that ALL of them?

Rotoworld_BB: J. Ellsbury -CF-BOS: CT scan reveals
Ellsbury has four broken ribs http://tinyurl.com/dkxfc3

Sent via TweetDeck

Two Games, Two Walk-Offs

This time I actually got to stay and see the ball leave the yard in person instead of through the bottom of a shot glass.  San Francisco should consider changing their name this year; the only thing Giant about this team is the Social Security checks this old bastards are collecting and the Kung-Fu Panda's tab at the local Coco's.  SF must have had half-a-dozen infield singles, even Panda had one.  Needless to say, the NL West continues to be a fight for who gets to be shit on by the Cardinals in the Playoffs, and will continue to be anybody's division despite the great hype behind the Giant's pitching staff.  Yes, you will win every 5th game with Timmy, but that's about the only safe bet.  The Padre's youth movement has paid off in that even if they don't win, the game's are finally exciting.

In short...SUCK IT!

Mexico

Talked to some of you guys yesterday about heading down to Mexico for Memorial Day weekend. Here are the details:

• Airline: Volaris (www.volaris.com.mx)
• Fly from Tijuana to Hermocillo (little over one hour flight)
• Leave: Friday May 28th -- departs Tijuana at 7AM (Flight #500)
• Return: Monday May 31st -- departs Hermocillo at 3:30PM (Flight #501)
• Flights are $168 ROUND-TRIP (including taxes) from as of 3:45PM on Friday
• You MUST have a passport... so if you want to come and don't have one, get on that now because it can take from 3-6 weeks
• Town that the house is @ is called San Carlos... right next to the large city of Guaymas
• There is one bedroom left @ my dad's house -- two twin beds (or one queen)

Here is the pic of my dad's restuarant

So if you want to head out there with JR and myself... get on that shit now. And post below here so we don't get more people then we have beds for.

P.S. There is a boat.

Draft 2010 Page

I have added a page for the draft board of 2010.  I haven't quite been able to squeeze it down enough so you have to scroll ever so slightly left-to-right.

Here's the link if you'd like to go directly to the Google Spreadsheet.  I've also changed everybody's role to viewer to preserve the board as is.  If something needs to be changed just let me know.

Waiver Wire Priority

Is it Travis or Fish that get first waiver wire priority?  What was it last year?

Im Not Sure If You've Heard This Song Before........DRAFT DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Utley for Kinsler & Ellsbury

JR trades Chase Utley to Cale for Ian Kinsler and Jacoby Ellsbury.

Trade!!

Trade Alert!!!
Justin and I have made a trade!
Justin is sending Justin Verlander my way and we are trading spots in the 4th round (1st pick). Justin will pick 3rd and I will pick 5th.
Looking forward to Friday guys :)
JJ

Rookie Keeper List

It appears that a list will help. Sorry if I let the cat out of the bag on someone hoping that a name wouldn't pop up, and it still might not, but I think this will help with the process. First, I will list the players that are currently on squads that haven't chosen and that can be (1) kept by the owner that currently has the player; (2) traded for; or (3) picked up after the owner picks someone else. Then I will go by position for the current free agents.

Hal: Randy Wells (SP, Cubs)
Cale: Gordon Beckham (2B/3B, CHW); Mat Latos (SP, SD); Madison Bumgarner (SP, SF)
Hoof: Andrew Bailey (CL, Oak); Tommy Hanson (SP, Atl); Buster Posey (C, SF); Eric Young (2B/OF, Col)
Jason: Rick Porcello (SP, Det); Chris Coghlan (2B/OF, FL); Jake Fox (OF/DH, Oak); Neftali Feliz (SP/RP, Tex)
Ari: Andrew McCutcheon (OF, Pit); Garret Jones (OF, Pit); Wade Davis (SP, TB); Julio Borbon (OF, Tex)
JJ: None
Tom: None

Free Agents
C: Lou Marson (CLE)
1B: Gaby Sanchez (FL); Matt LaPorta (also OF, Cle)
2B: Luis Valbuena (Cle)
3B: Casey McGehee (Mil); David Freese (StL)
SS: Elvis Andrus (Tex); Everth Cabrera (SD); Alcides Escobar (Mil)
OF: Colby Rasmus (StL); Gerardo Parra (ARI); Travis Snider (TEX); Nate Schierholtz (SF); Cameron Maybin (FL); Nolan Riemold (BAL); Kyle Blanks (SD); Will Venable (SD); Drew Stubbs (CIN)
SP: Brian Matusz (BAL); Jeff Niemann (TB); Brett Anderson (OAK); Trevor Cahill (OAK); Kenshin Kawakami (ATL); Clayton Richard (SD)

There you go. If you can get something off of that list you aren't trying.

Mock Drafts

I have signed up for Mock Draft Central to accommodate our trades, keepers and scoring. The interface is an online Flash web application. It is an adjustment from previous drafts with our straightforward draft boards or Google Spreadsheet. It is a little cluttered, and feels a little dated, but it is a tool that fits our needs.

I am the technical commissioner and will set up mock drafts all week where you can jump in and check it out and get used to the interface.  Slots that are not filled by a human will be controlled by the computer.

Mock Draft Schedule
Tuesday 4:15PM - Click here to join
Wednesday 5:30PM - Click here to join
Thursday 6:00PM -  Click here to join

Rookie Keeper Draft

With the draft date set for this Friday, March 26th at 6PM, the time to start the rookie keeper portion of the draft is upon us. Please refer back to my prior post for clarification of a rookie keeper or e-mail me if you have a question with whether or not a player qualifies. I've been asked not to post a list of names- I think the new guys have a few of the veterans worried- and so I won't. Just remember that as long as a guy did not qualify for rookie of the year consideration in 2008 (130ABs or 50IPs), and played even an inning in the majors in 2009, you can keep him. Remember that after a manager drafts, all of his rookie keeper eligible players fall back into the pool, unless he is going to keep them as one of his 3. So if a keep Gordon Beckham, anyone below me could take Madison Bumgarner or Mat Latos.


So lets get it started, and if there are any questions fire away. The draft will take place in the comments section underneath the post. I will post the drafted player and will post the names of the players dropping into the pool in parentheses (?). Order is as follows:

1. Travis- Matt Wieters (Everth Cabrera)
2. JR - J.A. Happ
3. Tyler - Dexter Fowler
4. Hal - Alcides Escobar (Randy Wells)
5. Cale - Gordon Beckham (Mat Latos, Madison Bumgarner)
6. Justin- Tommy Hanson (Andrew Bailey, Buster Posey, Eric Young, Jr.)
7. Jason- Andrew Bailey (Rick Porcello, Chris Coghlan, Neftali Feliz, Jake Fox)
8. JJ- Brett Anderson
9. Ari- Elvis Andrus (Andrew McCutcheon)
10. Tom- Andrew McCutchen

Mark Texiera Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Decent draft or straight across for Doug Flutie.

Back-to-Back

Like Devlin in baseball, and like Jason in football, this is the year I get my back-to-back championship! Count it! The start of the run to the triple crown starts today for some lucky soul. Good luck boys!

DRAFT DATE

I didn't use all caps because I was too lazy to change my font. I used to let you fuckers know that THE DRAFT DATE HAS CHANGED!

Date: Friday, March 26th
Time: 6:00PM
Where: Online. Having people at our place though for those that are interested/able.

Talking to people, there are 3 or 4 people that were going to make the 19th happen but that it was a little tough for. No one seems to have a problem with the 26th. If I have missed you and your pressing engagement, let me know and we can find a different date. This date also brings us closer to the season, which is always better because (a) the position battles and injury scene are a little more hashed out, and (b) it's one less week of opening the team page 15 times a day looking for player notes that will never come and stats boxes that are completely empty.

Trade from the bus

Ari gets: Ichiro and Travis's 8th

Travis gets: Ari's 11th and 8th

1st Place

Movin' On Upton: Before 'Moving on Up' to the eastside of San Ellijo, Travis "Dirty" Devlin claimed his third Fantasy Baseball crown. With a target the size of his ego on his back, Mr. Devlin will have to fend of 9 hungry Fantasy Juicers' for the top spot in 2010. He'll have a small lead out the gates with the likes of Longoria, Lincecum and either Fielder, Greinke or Ichiro in the chamber. We can only hope he'll treat this team like his bed, past girlfriends, friends' carpet and many other inanimate objects and piss all over them, but I guess it all 'depends'.............undergarments. If you can't read between the lines, give this guy his own bed in AZ, you've been warned. Not only is sleeping with Trav like sitting in the first 10 rows of the Shamu Show, you could end up like this 'Daddy's Little Princess'. LMAO!!!!.......Sorry, I had to take it down, we were losing memberships left and right.

THATS IT, IM OUTTA HERE!!!!!!

See you guys tomorrow........................PLAY BALL!

One More Trade...

Travis is getting my 10th pick and I am receving Justin Upton. I guess I will buy some Diamondback gear when we are in Arizona this weekend!! :)

Horsetrading Continues

Der gets:
Felix Hernandez
Tom's 9th
Hoof's 10th

Hoof gets:
Miguel Cabrera

Trade Complete

Hoof: Gets my 9th round

Fish: Gets Matt Holliday

Deal done

Uh-oh!

Trade #2

I give JR my 9th and 12th round picks for Chris Carpenter and Dan Haren.

I currently have Jose Reyes, Mark Reynolds, Josh Hamilton and Yovani Gallardo open for a trade.

Trade Complete

Ari offered me a 10th round pick for Kendry Morales.

I accepted.

He is now the proud owner of Kendry Morales, and I his 10th round pick.

- Justin L. Brossier

Peoria, AZ

2009 Standings and Rosters

To access last years standings and rosters, go to the top of the page and click on the '2009 Standings and Rosters' link. While many of us have access to our Yahoo! profiles, JJ and Ari cannot see this information.

Trade Season: OPEN

2nd Place

Wham-O!: Even though JR finished in 2nd place, he did win something, the award for 'The Stupidest Fantasy Baseball Team Name Ever'. Who names their team after a Frisbee anyways? If this is a sign of things to come, we can all look forward to future teams named after his childhood toys. Look out for 'Slinky', 'Marbles', 'Pogs', 'Sisters Makeup' and 'Condom Water Balloons'. Crappy names aside, Mr. Johnson has managed to maintain a high level of competition with a total of four top 3 finishes, including a Championship in 2006 as the 'Mangos' claimed the Year of the 'Fruit'. JR will be off to a solid star with Braun and Utley, packaged up with the likes of either Sizemore, Zimmerman, Carp or Haren. More importantly, this Jackass is going to be tying the knot this April and for that he will be punished and drunkened more than any man should have to be. I'm not talking a sausage factory in the middle of Hillcrest either...........this will be much worse. "FORGET WHAT YOU SAW!!!!!!!!"

3rd Place

Player Lair: The only bigger shock than Hal's 4th place finish was Tyler's 3rd place, money getting completion to the 2009 season. Looking at this final roster, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE DID IT. Curtis Granderson was his No. 2 power supply and only one player on this roster had over 88 RBI's. You have to give this squad credit, they did it 'clean'. No need to test this lackluster bunch, but I'm still so confused. It just goes to show how important pitching, a lot of marijuana and a best friend named 'Mug' is to this league. Tyler, Mug and Doc Halladay (the screenplay pretty much writes itself) managed to hang on to Carlos BelTRON and Dustin Pud-roia and still clamp down a top 3 finish. Now that is impressive. Mr. Longmire will have to pull off another miraculous season behind this 'birdie' (sub-par) keeper pool. Halladay, Crawford and then your pick from....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

That's right! A google image search prompted this sweet Player Lair logo. In case you were wondering its about gay vampires.........and yes the tag-line is "Welcome to the Fang Bang". LMFAO!!!

4th Place

Stimulated Package: Hal??? Really.....JR's dad??? He finished in 4th place? Only one spot out of the money? I think we'll all have to take our caps off to the guy, as we bow our heads in silence and mourn the league and the disappointment we have cast on the Fantasy Gods. It appears that Hal traded in his Hot Rod Weekly for a Fantasy Mag and reaped the benefits. Mr. Johnson accumulated quite a powerhouse of keepers after his sidekick handed him Albert Pujols on draft day a few years ago. He'll have a very difficult decision on which 3 to keep out of Pujols, A-Rod, Teixeira, Mauer and possibly Cliff Lee. Unlike the days leading up to his high school Sadie Hawkin's Dance, Hal should be receiving some calls for the services of one of these fantasy titans. Although the pieces are in place, he still has to draft so we can expect this team to balance out very quickly. Come April, not only will Hal have the privilege of walking JR down the aisle, but he'll have his shot to prove that last year wasn't just a 'one hit wonder'.

5th Place

Paper Tiger: No kids, that is not a typo. The Der, for the first time in his Fantasy Juicers baseball career, finished out of the money. That's right....OUT OF THE MONEY! Its hard to believe, but fun to say......try it with me..........OUT OF THE MONEY!!! A staple at the top of the leaderboard, Mr. Beck stunned us all with a disappointing 2009 season. But as he is not afraid to tell you, the keeper pool on this squad is far from shallow. A bounce back year is as certain as finding an empty bottle of Jack and a stiff sock under his bed. Thankfully after two full years with the same name, 'Paper Tiger' is dead. This year 'Old Money' will be out for vengeance and I can guarantee his roster will be loaded with great arms..........and at least one Padre. MREH!

6th Place

Cobra Kai: Hoofy, aka Justin, followed up a 2008 7th place finish with a 'Giant' leap into 6th in his 2009 campaign. After a 2007 season and an eye-opening 2nd place finish, highly attributed to his little orphan 'Annie', it appears this one hit wonder has lip-synced his last diddy for now. With an unimpressive overall Yahoo! fantasy performance of 31% this aspiring actor turned legal counsel remains to be an afterthought in the realm of fantasy competition. Along with his poor judgments with fantasy acquisitions and $5 bets amongst his friends, Hoof has yet to entrench his being as a fantasy threat............could this be the year?? With a slew of overrated talent entering the 2010 season, Mr. Hoof will have to decide between the likes of Matt Holiday, Matt Kemp, David Wright, Adam Lind, Kendry Morales and Felix Hernandez. The bright spot rests in the one year and under crowd of youngsters with Tommy Hanson, Buster Posey and Eric Young Jr. We just hope that this Erin Brokovich can take a break long enough to pick a couple of his players before the auto-draft feature selects the rest come Draft Day.

League Overview

For the newbies, here are some brief points to keep in mind with this league:

1. Its 10x10, meaning 10 hitting and 10 pitching categories. (Hitting: R; Hits; 2B; 3B; HR; RBI; SB; BB; K; AVG / Pitching: W; L; CG; SHO; SV; ER; BB; K; ERA; WHIP [walks and hits per inning pitched]) The extra categories definitely add more depth to the potential value of a player so make sure to keep that in mind when looking at building a team.

2. Keepers: We keep three regular players plus one rookie keeper (look at 3, below) You can keep the players that are on the squad you are handed (in this case the pool of the two abandoned teams), or you can trade with other players prior to the draft. You can't pull from the FA pool for keepers.

3. Rookie Keepers: The rookie keeper is our proudest achievement as a league. A rookie keeper is any player that played at all the season prior as their rookie season. As long as in the year prior to that they did not exceed the ABs (130) or IPs (50) to qualify for rookie of the year consideration, they qualify. For instance, Andrew Bailey of the A's was this years AL Rookie of the Year. He can be kept. However, if he had thrown more than 50 innings in 2008 in the big leagues, then he would not have qualified as a rookie for 2009 and couldn't be kept in our league in 2010. There's no minimum though. If there's a guy that got a September call-up last year and didn't log enough ABs or IPs to qualify for rookie of the year consideration (see Madison Bumgartner), they can still be kept. A player can only be kept one year as a rookie keeper, so a September call-up that is kept and the next year wins the rookie of the year award cannot be kept the following year.
The rookie keeper portion of the draft goes in reverse order of the regular draft, meaning 1st to 10th. You can keep any player that was on your squad the year before, or you can pull from the FA agent pool (which you can't do for the regular draft). Once you keep a player from your squad, all eligible rookies on your squad that are not kept are immediately dropped into the FA pool for the people below you to choose, unless you plan to keep them as one of your regular 3 keepers.

4. Trades: You can trade for players or draft picks. Veto power is held with the league (1/3) of the players. Trades can be made during the offseason and during the season until the trade deadline.

5. Price and Payout: League fee is $100. Payout is 60/30/10 for 1st, 2nd, 3rd ($600/$300/$100)

6. Trophy: Kick ass trophy for first with your name on it for the champion.

All other rules are Yahoo rules. For now the draft will be held March 18 at 6PM on the Yahoo site, although I'm looking at some other options that will allow for our draft pick trades. Post if you have any other questions.'

Commish

Potential Keepers

Below is a list of legitimate keepers currently available on each squad. By legitimate, I mean ranked in the top 30 on MockDraftCentral's Average Draft Position (ADP) Report, or ranked in the top few of their position (based on scarcity). The purpose is to give everyone, particularly the new guys, a sense of who might be available for trade prior to the draft and who might be available with the 4th round (1st after the keeper rounds) pick. I have marked the players by rank (overall, position):

Travis: Prince Fielder (8,3); Evan Longoria (9,2); Justin Upton (25,6); Ichiro Suzuki (40, 10); Brandon Phillips (33,3); Tim Lincecum (12,1); Zack Greinke (26,3)

JR: Ryan Braun (5,1); Chase Utley (4,1); Grady Sizemore (28,7); Joey Votto (30,6); Brian McCann (43,3); Dan Haren (42,6)

Tyler: Carl Crawford (15,3); Dustin Pedroia (38,4); Roy Halladay (24,2); Carlos Beltran (injury)

Hal: Albert Pujols (1,1); Alex Rodriguez (3,1); Mark Teixeira (6,2); Joe Mauer (13,1)

Cale: Miguel Cabrera (10,4); Ian Kinsler (16,2); Jacoby Ellsbury (19,4); Troy Tulowitzki (17,2); Jason Bay (29,8); Adrian Gonzalez (32,7); Johan Santana (injury) (46,8)

Justin: Matt Holiday (20,5); Matt Kemp (7,2); David Wright (14,3); Felix Hernandez (31,5); Brandon Webb (injury)

Jason: Ryan Howard (11,5); Jose Reyes (22,4); Mark Reynolds (18,4)

JJ/Ari (Laying the WOOD): Jimmy Rollins (21,3); Aaron Hill (50,6)

JJ/Ari (Actual Tiger): Hanley Ramirez (2,1); CC Sabathia (27,4)

Tom: Victor Martinez (23,2); Justin Morneau (37,9)

Mini-Draft

Ari and JJ: The two rosters below will be pooled together for both of you to have a mini-draft redistributing the "talent" between the two teams. From this poo,l you will select three keepers and one rookie keeper each. A post is soon to follow determining who goes first (coin flip), and a brief breakdown of the rules and scoring of our league. In the meantime take a look at what's below.

If you have any questions, go ahead a post in the comments section and somebody here will answer it....or insult you. Probably both.

Laying the Wood Player	H/AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	BB	K	AVG
Jason Bartlett (TB - SS)	160/500	90	160	29	7	14	66	30	54	89	.320
Julio Borbón (Tex - OF)	49/157	30	49	4	0	4	20	19	15	28	.312
Michael Bourn (Hou - OF)	173/606	97	173	27	12	3	35	61	63	140	.285
Aaron Hill (Tor - 2B)	195/682	103	195	37	0	36	108	6	42	98	.286
Aubrey Huff (SF - 1B,3B)	129/536	59	129	30	1	15	85	0	51	87	.241
Garrett Jones (Pit - 1B,OF)	92/314	45	92	21	1	21	44	10	40	76	.293
Carlos Lee (Hou - OF)	183/610	65	183	35	1	26	102	5	41	51	.300
Nick Markakis (Bal - OF)	188/642	94	188	45	2	18	101	6	56	98	.293
Andrew McCutchen (Pit - OF)	124/433	74	124	26	9	12	54	22	54	83	.286
Bengie Molina (SF - C)	130/491	52	130	25	1	20	80	0	13	68	.265
David Ortiz (Bos - 1B)	129/541	77	129	35	1	28	99	0	74	134	.238
Carlos Peña (TB - 1B)	107/471	91	107	25	2	39	100	3	87	163	.227
Scott Podsednik (KC - OF)	163/537	75	163	25	6	7	48	30	39	74	.304
Jimmy Rollins (Phi - SS)	168/672	100	168	43	5	21	77	31	44	70	.250

	Pitching
Player	IP	W	L	CG	SHO	SV	ER	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
Wade Davis (TB - SP)	36.1	2	2	1	1	0	15	13	36	3.72	1.27
Ryan Franklin (StL - RP)	61.0	4	3	0	0	38	13	24	44	1.92	1.20
Matt Garza (TB - SP)	203.0	8	12	0	0	0	89	79	189	3.95	1.26
Cole Hamels (Phi - SP)	193.2	10	11	2	2	0	93	43	168	4.32	1.29
Edwin Jackson (Ari - SP)	214.0	13	9	1	0	0	86	70	161	3.62	1.26
Ubaldo Jiménez (Col - SP)	218.0	15	12	1	0	0	84	85	198	3.47	1.23
José Valverde (Det - RP)	54.0	4	2	0	0	25	14	21	56	2.33	1.13

---

Actual Tiger

Player	H/AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	BB	K	AVG
Robinson Canó (NYY - 2B)	204/637	103	204	48	2	25	85	5	30	63	.320
Chris Davis (Tex - 1B,3B)	93/391	48	93	15	1	21	59	0	24	150	.238
Ryan Doumit (Pit - C)	70/280	31	70	16	0	10	38	4	20	49	.250
Yunel Escobar (Atl - SS)	158/528	89	158	26	2	14	76	5	57	62	.299
Chone Figgins (Sea - 2B,3B)	183/615	114	183	30	7	5	54	42	101	114	.298
Carlos Gómez (Mil - OF)	72/315	51	72	15	5	3	28	14	22	72	.229
Corey Hart (Mil - OF)	109/419	64	109	24	3	12	48	11	43	92	.260
Conor Jackson (Ari - 1B,OF)	18/99	8	18	4	0	1	14	5	11	16	.182
Paul Konerko (CWS - 1B)	151/546	75	151	30	1	28	88	1	58	89	.277
Mike Napoli (LAA - C)	104/382	60	104	22	1	20	56	3	40	103	.272
Magglio Ordóñez (Det - OF)	144/465	54	144	24	2	9	50	3	51	65	.310
Hanley Ramírez (Fla - SS)	197/576	101	197	42	1	24	106	27	61	101	.342
Manny Ramírez (LAD - OF)	102/352	62	102	24	2	19	63	0	71	81	.290
Gary Sheffield (NYM - OF)	74/268	44	74	13	2	10	43	2	40	46	.276
Vernon Wells (Tor - OF)	164/630	84	164	37	3	15	66	17	48	86	.260

	Pitching
Player	IP	W	L	CG	SHO	SV	ER	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
Bobby Jenks (CWS - RP)	53.1	3	4	0	0	29	22	16	49	3.71	1.27
Derek Lowe (Atl - SP)	194.2	15	10	0	0	0	101	63	111	4.67	1.52
Jonathan Papelbon (Bos - RP)	68.0	1	1	0	0	38	14	24	76	1.85	1.15
CC Sabathia (NYY - SP)	230.0	19	8	2	1	0	86	67	197	3.37	1.15
James Shields (TB - SP)	219.2	11	12	0	0	0	101	52	167	4.14	1.32
Javier Vázquez (NYY - SP)	219.1	15	10	3	0	0	70	44	238	2.87	1.03
Tim Wakefield (Bos - SP)	129.2	11	5	2	0	0	66	50	72	4.58	1.44

7th Place - Moose Knuckleballs

Yep...there they are.  If a picture is a 1000 words, and this one describes Jason's team, 999 of them would be variations of the word gross.  The MKs treated this league like the back of a taxi cab after eight Jack & Diets and a SuperSized Bean & Cheese.  As pointed out by the reigning champion Travis "The Loudspeaker" Devlin, this fart of a team got a jump start on its horrible season when the manager conducted an abortion in the 5th round and drafted Francisco Liriano.  That's not a typo: F-I-F-T-H (ebonic equaivalent: F-I-F).  I was compelled to fart right there on the spot.  In fact, I propose that from now on, in honor of this legendary gaff, whenever you want to draft Liriano don't say his name...just make a farting sound with your mouth.  We'll know what you mean.

Because nobody would believe me if I told you he complemented the 5th round Liriano pick with David Price as a rookie keeper, I have cut&pasted the pitching staff of the MKs below.  This team didn't stand a chance.  I'm pretty sure it was worse too.  On the last day he just sorted the available players by ERA and picked up a couple in attempt to reduce the smell of this heap-o-shit.

---

	Pitching
Player	IP	W	L	CG	SHO	SV	ER	BB	K	ERA	WHIP
David Aardsma (Sea - RP)	71.1	3	6	0	0	38	20	34	80	2.52	1.16
Neftali Feliz (Tex - SP,RP)	31.0	1	0	0	0	2	6	8	39	1.74	0.68
Yovani Gallardo (Mil - SP)	185.2	13	12	1	0	0	77	94	204	3.73	1.31
Francisco Liriano (Min - SP,RP)	136.2	5	13	0	0	0	88	65	122	5.80	1.55
Rick Porcello (Det - SP,RP)	170.2	14	9	0	0	0	75	52	89	3.96	1.34
David Price (TB - SP)	128.1	10	7	0	0	0	63	54	102	4.42	1.35
Ervin Santana (LAA - SP)	139.2	8	8	2	2	0	78	47	107	5.03	1.47
Rafael Soriano (TB - RP)	75.2	1	6	0	0	27	25	27	102	2.97	1.06

---

Now many of you will doubtlessly tell me "but JR, he traded away Carp and Wainwright".  Exactly.  Traded away potential keepers for draft picks that he will, guaranteed, treat like a man's butthole and totally screw it.  This manager should throw away the baseball magazines this year and just throw darts at wall for his picks.  Couldn't do much worse.

Well, he could have Tom's team.

Looking forward (because you certainly don't want to look back on this thing), Howard somehow manages to hit a respectable .279 to make his 45 HRs and 141 RBIs really pop, more frimly establishing him as a perennial keeper.  Mark Reynolds will likely join the squad this year to make Jason a front runner for HRs.  Of course this comes along with a nice big, straight, numero uno in the K column.  After the Gorilla and Reynolds it's a toss-up between future stars or yesteryear's supermodels of Hamilton and Reyes.  There's potential here in the batting lineup but he'll be forced to draft a great pitching squad and try to keep that sqaud this time.

THE CHAMP IS HERE....

Via Travis Devlin on the Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball Page last Friday: link

Hey you fucking douche bags! First of all, the post by Hal to start the league was great. A heart felt fuck you, i can get down with that. Then we get the predictable Fisher "feel sorry for my fucking gay ass" bullshit. Shut up already. Then der chimes in with his "i'm kinda making fun of you, but i'm really your friend" post. So predictable. Here's what i'm going to throw out there to help the 9 of you dongs have more fun this year...

1) Go into the year knowing that just because you have the lead after two months, your team still blows and i'll pass you.

2) Post, talk shit, admit your team sucks when you lose and have fun telling everyone that you hope they brought knee pads when you win.

3) Whatever you do, don't listen to Jason, he drafted Francisco Liriano in the 5th round last year.

4) Tim Lincecum is the man

5) Hoofina is in law school, so don't expect much this year. Obviously, he's stuck in the "library"

6) Evan Longoria is amazing

7) Fuck you all, the first back to back champion in the history of the fantasy juicers league, the first franchise to have not 1....not 2...but 3 banners hanging from the ceiling. That's right bitches, sometimes what you may have considered a fluke becomes a trend, and a trend becomes a dynasty...

There's quite a few of you out there that have keepers that resemble Jr's backyard. If you need some help, i have 6 potential keepers on my team and am willing to listen to trade offers for draft picks. Greinke, Fielder, Ichiro, Upton anyone?

Have a nice Friday..
TD

Tickets! Get your tickets here!

The tickets are purchased and in hand for both the Cubs and Rangers game.

For the home game at the Peoria Sports Complex, we have good seats behind the Padres dugout, two or three rows back.  We have two groups of five, one directly in front of the other with both starting at the aisle.

The Ranger game is an away game in Surprise and we opted to for the lawn seating for this game.

I'm gettin' pumped guys.  Three more weeks according to the countdown-ometer.

8th Place

Laying the WOOD: This carpenter was far from Jesus and like so many before him finishing 'at the bottom of the sea', Mr. Tim Miller has opted out of his fantasy contract. After only one season of being the fat chick in a cheerleader pyramid Tim will leave this miraculous bunch of athletes that couldn't make the Indians from Major League. Arguably, there isn't one single player worth taking in the top 3 and possibly 4 rounds. J-Roll, Markakis, Carlos Lee, Cole Hamels, and the lone bright spot, rookie keeper Andrew McCutchen are what remains in the ruins of this 12 month empire. The challenge for this team will be passed onto the rest of the league as we try to convince someone that a $100 buy-in to get this lineup is a steal. Luckily the two unmanageable teams will be tossed into a bucket of poop for the new blood to dig through and separate from the corn and the nuts. "Hey, you haven't changed a bit!"

We've Got a Player Down

So Tim just called and said he's out for baseball. Too much time, too much money, yada yada. He's got 2 other leagues that he was in before so I guess he gets some slack. So there will be a combining of the 2 last place teams into 1 pot. The 2 new managers will be able to choose the 3 players they want to keep from those players. We're gonna have to come up with a method to determine who chooses first. Ideas?

Countdown to Fun!

9th Place

Actual Tiger: This Tiger is following Tiger Woods' lead and is getting the fuck out of dodge and having as much sex with old Canadian woman as he can. Looking at this lineup, its not a moment too soon. Mr. Paul Revlin will be donating Hanley Ramirez, C.C. Sabathia and the cup from the 2 girls 1 cup video hit. There are a few other viable candidates in Manny and Papelbon, but we'll let you decide. Its a sad day as Mr. Revlin, one of the original fantasy juicers, will officially put his fantasy career on hold to pursue his passion for nude theater. We will all miss his 'Icelandic camp sex narrations' and hope he makes a return soon. To the new manager who acquires this team, don't forget........you almost had Tom's team so you got lucky.

Commissioner's Note #1

What's happening fantasy hopefuls!! Another season is approaching shortly, and the manager roster is nearly filled out. I'd like to extend a welcome shout out to JJ Sclar! Thanks for jumping in this season dude.

Just to give you a little glimpse of the talent level in this league, the trophy lineup currently reads like this:
2003: Cale Beck
2004: Andy Lynch (league casualty)
2005: Travis Devlin
2006: JR Johnson
2007: Cale Beck
2008: Travis Devlin
2009: Travis Devlin

As you can see, we can use a little more diversity on this thing. Hopefully you can put up a better fight than the rest of the league "veterans." But remember to bring your money anyways.

Online rumor mill is spouting something about the 2010 league page being available tomorrow, February 9. So if you haven't started thinking about this season's team name, get on it. The draft will be online for the first time this year. I'm gonna call out Thursday, March 18 at 6PM for draft time. That probably won't work for everybody, so if you have other suggestions let's hear 'em. And you better come with a good excuse. A Grey's Anatomy conflict will get no love. I'll give everyone the address to send in buy-in money when I figure out the new address.

Finally, I'd like to give a shout out to JR Johnson and his techno-savvy for setting up this blog. Awesome.

Commish

2009 Fantasy Juicers Season 7 Final Standings

Now that football is officially dead to the fantasy world, we turn our attention to America's Favorite Pastime............Fantasy Baseball. Here is a look at the final standings from last years fantasy league, saving the best for last. That being said, that must mean that Tom is up first. Coming in dead last, The Fish.
My Ass is Soriano: After a fairly respectable start of the season, it soon became apparent that the Fish blew his wad a little too early in the season. His hopes for a money finish soon dwindled as May rolled around. A long road may still be ahead for the 2010 season as even a beginning Fantasy Juicer could make the claim that there isn't a keeper on this list of terds. Don't tell him that though, we need to keep his spot filled. Morneau, Martinez, Berkman, Peavy and Lester appear to be the early favorites for this bottom of the barrel squad. Even though it appears as though Tom is a mastermind on Draft Day, he might want to relinquish a few of those picks for at least one viable keeper. It may be highly likely that a name change will be required once this Double- A roster is filled out. Lyle Ovabay!

Buy-in Amount Vote for 2010 Fantasy Baseball Season

We've been at the current buy-in for two consecutive seasons, so I thought it appropriate to take a poll on the buy-in amount for Fantasy Baseball. The league has handled most issues through voting which is what this poll will represent. The Commish will process the results once everyone's vote is in and render his decision accordingly.

Can You Find the Homo?

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Fun for the whole family

The Sound of Tom Fisher's Heart Breaking